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The Fantasy
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The Fantasy
I've been fascinated by my family and friend's perception of the purpose of journey. Perhaps there is confusion because I have not been very good at articulating what I'm doing.
Some say it is a time for me to rest. That would make sense. I was averaging between 60 and 70 hours a week at my job. I was on the road most of the time. The week I found out I was no longer employed, I was in 6 airports in 3 days. When other people watched me, I think they projected how they would feel with my schedule. The truth is, I loved what I did. Several of my family members work for that same company and we found that we didn't mind giving the extra hours because we did it together. The work was fun and invigorating. I don't believe I need an extended rest.
My father says I'm going on a rich man's hobo journey. He sees my journey as kind of a geographical cure. He knows the loss of the job hit me very hard. He wisely advised me that running from problems doesn't usually help. He said it usually makes them worse. I heard the wisdom of his words but I believe I'm walking towards something rather than running away. God ordained this change in my life and I refuse to be ashamed because God has chosen to take action in my life. I don't think I have anything to run from.
A woman I met last night called me a Gypsy. She said she had always been drawn to the romance of the Gypsy lifestyle and was envious of me. That was a new thought. I do love to wander. It is in my nature. I certainly enjoy dancing and I don't like shoes. As a child, I would watch people sitting on trains and busses and long to go where they were going. Every job I've ever had involved travel. I come from a long line of railroaders. I suspect my wanderlust is biological. But, I love my family and my home. I've named my house Sanctuary and it is truly that. We have a peaceful home filled with love. My home is the center of my love, play, spiritual growth, and my rest. If I'm a Gypsy, I'm one with a wonderful home base.
Some say I'm on vacation. I love vacations. I've always had a philosophy of "work hard play hard." I take more vacations and work harder than most people. The longest vacation I've ever been able to take is two weeks. After than, I'm ready to get back to my life. I love my life and don't want to be away from it too long.
I'm working very hard. The physical side of my journey is more than I had counted on. I have to move in and out of every place I stay. I have bruises and broken fingernails. I'm watching my budget on this trip so I'm not usually going to the kind of places where I'll be pampered. I cooking most of my meals on grills or camp stoves. I'm eating out less now than when I was at home. I'm cooking, cleaning, and washing my on clothes. Part o f the "work hard play hard" philosophy involves a housekeeper doing those things for me. People may be playing "Where's Waldo?" as they wonder where I am, but I'm playing, "Where's Marti? (my housekeeper) I'm writing hours every day. This is certainly an adventure but it doesn't feel like a vacation.
on't believe this is a vacation.
Some say I'm writing a book. I might be writing a book. I'll even go so far as to say that I'm probably writing a book. I'm certainly writing stories and putting them on my website. I can see how they could fit together into a meaningful book. I have no idea about my writing talent. This is completely new for me and I don't know if anyone will want to read what I write. I am taking this one step at a time on faith.
My pastor said I was going away to try to figure out what God wanted me to do next. He knows that I often go away for spiritual retreats when I'm having trouble hearing God. I fully expect God to give me my next assignment while on this trip but in this case, I already know what God wants me to do next. He wants me to go on this trip, listen to his voice daily, and record what I see.
With regards to my career, when the right thing comes along, God will tell me. I'm certainly continuing my job search on this trip. I'm talking to someone regarding my next career move almost every day. I pray every day for the knowledge of God's will for my life and the power to carry it out. I've learned to count on God revealing his will to me one day at a time.
I do have a fantasy about this trip. As a child, I wanted to be an Angel. My favorite book was "The Littlest Angel." It was about a boy that died and became an Angel. When I grew up, I found out that being an Angel wasn't in my future. Angels are specially created beings. One doesn't become an Angel when they die. I was pretty disappointed.
One of my favorite TV shows was Highway To Heaven. It was a show about an Angel going around the world doing good deeds. He had a sidekick who was human. His character name was Mark Gordon and his real name is Victor French. My fantasy is to be Mark Gordon. It would delight me to get to travel around helping the Angels.
The only way I can describe what I'm doing is that it is a call from God. I feel like I'm on a mission. I have purpose when I wake up in the morning. I know what I'm supposed to do. I feel satisfaction when I lay down at night. I have my family's support for this mission. I have the time and the financial ability to do this. God has sent me numerous about my call.
I can never remember a time when I have felt more at peace. I feel like I am being held in the arms of God. I may occasionally feel frustrated, scared, tired, and lonely, but I have complete peace. I feel blessed to have this time with God. I do realize that this is what could be called a "Mountain Top Experience" and I will have to come down from the mountain. I am at peace.
This trip may turn out to be a little of everything that I've written above. I may figure out what my next job will be. It is completely possible that I am part Gypsy or a Hobo. I could even be running from my problems or helping Angels. I think I'm writing a book. What I do know is that if I am following God, the journey will be incredible.
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