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A God Of Second Chances
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A God Of Second Chances
This is a story of love and grace. The stars of our story are Sandra and Rick. Their love story includes miracles, faithfulness, triumph, and salvation. Sandra and Rick are in their fifties. They have been happily married for nine years. They work, live, pray, and play together.
Sandra told me, “We wake up every morning and do our private devotions. We travel to work together. When we arrive at work, we pray the “Prayer of Jabez” and begin our day.” They come home at night to their beautiful home on the golf course and cuddle on the couch. They constantly smile at each other. They go to church on Wednesday and Sunday. They love and enjoy their children and grandchildren. They never forget how blessed they are. They gladly share their blessings.
1 Chronicles 4:10
Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request. (from New International Version)
This is the second marriage and a second chance for both of them. They each have two children from a previous marriage. When they met, this was where their similarities ended. Sandra explained, “I have been a Christian since she I was a child. I had a difficult first several years. My father drank and was abusive. When I was six, my mother left the three of us with our father and disappeared.”
This turned out to be a blessing for Sandra because she went to live with a Godly grandmother, aunt, and uncle. “I think of them as my family. They loved us. My aunt and uncle were only able to have one child. They saw three more children as the answer to prayer. They took us to church. I accepted Christ while living in their home.”
Sandra went on to marry a successful man. She had two sons. “I was living the “American Dream” and loved my life. We were active in church and I spent my days being a wife, keeping house, and taking care of the children. My world fell apart when my husband left me for his secretary.”
Sandra is a survivor. She had every reason to feel sorry for herself. Her mother and her husband had abandoned her. Many people would have given in to bitterness. Sandra grieved deeply and turned to the scriptures. “The Bible told me to put bitterness, wrath, and anger behind me. I was tempted to sink into self-pity but I had children. I did the only thing I knew to do. I turned more deeply to God. He was faithful.”
Ephesians 4:31-32
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. KJV
“I was determined to raise Godly boys. Their father had not been a very good example. If I let bitterness take over, my boys would suffer. I made the decision that I could be happy alone. I had no interest in marrying again until the children left home.” Sandra remained single for 18 years. She worked hard and stayed financially solvent. When she met Rick, she had a good job and her home paid off.
Rick was a professional, had a college degree, and became a very successful businessperson. “I was raised Catholic, but was not a Christian prior to meeting Sandra. My first marriage was to a wonderful woman. We had two children together. My good income allowed us many material rewards. By the world’s standards, I was a success.”
Unfortunately, Rick began to drink. His drinking got worse and he began losing jobs. “I wasn’t worried. I was good at what I did and could always find another job. Eventually, I had lost so many jobs that I was unemployable. I was also was a womanizer and became involved with other women. Multiple affairs and financial ruin finally caused my wife to end the marriage. It was completely my fault. My children hated me and were not interested in any relationship.”
After the end of his marriage, Rick’s life became even more focused on women and drinking. When he met Sandra, he was selling vacuum cleaners door to door. He was going to bars nightly, drinking and picking up women.
Sandra eventually began selectively dating. She smiled, “Everyone tried to fix me up. Finally, I gave in. I prayed about dating. My body is the “Temple of the Holy Spirit.” I promised God that I would not become involved with a man physically until I was married. Being practical, I also made a list of all the characteristics I did not want in a man. I shared that list with God.”
Some of Sandra’s friends invited her to a singles mixer put on by a community organization. Her friend promised, “This is a community event. It will be very nice. Please come. I don’t want to go alone.” Sandra gave in.
“I was shocked. I had never been to anything like this. It felt like a meat market. I wanted to go home,” Sandra explained. “My friends were not ready to go home so I went to the back of the room and sat alone. I decided not to participate.”
Rick was at the same mixer. “I was used to bars. This event was entirely too tame for my tastes. I was slightly bored. I spotted Sandra and thought she was the most attractive woman in the room. I headed straight to her.”
Sandra laughed, “He began a conversation and I quickly told him I was not interested. He was charming. He joked and continued to talk. I relaxed a little.”
As he talked with her, he told her, “You seem different than most of the women here.”
Sandra knew it was a typical pick-up line but decided to use the comment as a chance to witness. “I am different. I am a born-again Christian.”
Rick added dryly, “That sure didn’t go as I planned. I was not sure what she meant by the word born-again but decided not to pursue the subject.”
Sandra went on to say, “I don’t like men that drink.” Rick had a drink in his hand. Over the course of the evening, she told him everything she did not like in a man.
“I realized I was poster child for everything she detested,” Rick joked.
Finally, Sandra’s friends were ready to leave. “Rick followed me to my car and asked for my phone number. I refused. He wrote his number on a piece of paper and I promptly tore it up. Rick laughed and continued to pursue swapping numbers. Peer pressure from friends and his persistence finally paid off. I was embarrassed and wanted to leave. I finally gave my number. It did not occur to me to give a false number or I would have.” Sneakiness is just not Sandra’s style.
Rick called several days later and asked her to dinner. “I will not date you,” was the response.
Rick laughed and said, “This is not a date. It is dinner. Have you eaten yet?” She was hungry and relented. She met him at the restaurant. “I spent the evening listing everything I did not want in a man. He finally admitted aloud that he had all of the characteristics on my list.”
Rick admitted, “I left there not feeling very good about myself.”
Rick continued to contact Sandra. Sandra continued to refuse to date him but decided to reach out to him spiritually. “I put him in contact with my minister. He and the minister spent some time together. The minister told him about Jesus and salvation.”
“I kept calling Sandra. Occasionally she would meet me somewhere. She always reminded me that it was not a date.”
“I kept all aspects of the relationship just as friends. I do mean all,” Sandra said emphatically. There could be no doubt about Sandra’s meaning. Rick did not even get to hold her hand. Sandra constantly witnessed to Rick.
“I continued to drink heavily. I continued to go bars and pick up women. I knew my life was going nowhere. One night while driving home, I prayed one simple prayer. I asked God to remove the desire to drink. I began to cry so hard that I had to pull the car over. The grief for my wasted life washed over me. I cried for my broken marriage and for my children. I cried for the wasted years. I confessed to God and became a Christian sitting in the car. I did not understand all it meant but I surrendered my life to Jesus.”
“I went home to call Sandra. I was sure she would date me now. She was thrilled but said that I was too new a Christian to have a serious relationship. She said I had to focus on learning how to be a Christian. My heart sank.” Rick stopped drinking immediately and began studying the Bible. He began going back to his church.
“Sandra’s minister continued to mentor me. I knew drinking was wrong but no one told me about the sex part. Imagine my surprise when I found out I could not have sex again until I was married. Years in Catholic school and no one ever told me that part. I had no idea that was in the Bible.”
Sandra was the only woman he was interested in and she would not even discuss dating yet. “Marriage in the near term was out of the question. I am not sure I had ever been celibate and now I was facing years of celibacy. I guess it is a good thing I did not know that before I accepted Christ.”
Gradually, he and Sandra began dating. Rick wanted to get married but Sandra refused. “I want a waiting period of a year before I would ever consider anything serious,” she told him. “Also, if you have even one drink, the deal is off. You have to stay involved in church and active in a Bible Study.”
Sandra believed Rick’s first responsibility was to his original family. “I want you to make amends to your former wife and to ask her to go back to you. You also have to restore a relationship with your adult children.”
Rick listened and sighed, “Is that all?”
“No,” she said. “I want you to have a real job and be financially solvent.”
Rick did make amends to his former wife. She had no interest in them getting back together. Rick’s children finally forgave him. Today they have a wonderful relationship.
Rick resigned his job selling vacuum cleaners and opened a local franchise for a national and very professional business. Rick gradually became financially successful again. Rick has not had a drink since the night he accepted Christ. God completely removed the need to drink. He has been faithful to God, himself, and to Sandra since that night.
For a while, Rick stayed an active Catholic. Believing they needed to worship together, gradually, Rick became more and more involved in Sandra’s church. Today he arrives at their Baptist church early every Sunday to be a part of the prayer team. They fervently pray for the Sunday worship. He is a church member, sings in choir, and loves his church.
“We waited Sandra’s year. We were not intimate until our wedding night. You, know,” Rick smiled, “Sandra never admitted to being my fiancée. I met every requirement that Sandra had set and she still hesitated.” Rick became more and more insistent and finally Sandra married Rick.
Sandra smiled as she remembered her indecision. “I was at war with my faith and my intellect. My intellect told me that Rick could stumble easily. I was afraid to trust him. My faith told me to trust Rick and to trust God. Finally, faith won. I have never regretted that step of faith.”
At every step, Sandra prayed. She remained “strong in grace.” She did not judge Rick but she set careful boundaries. She was patient before the Lord. He rewarded her faithfulness. She was true to her values and he made her “righteousness shine like the dawn.” She was “still before the Lord” and waited patiently for Him.
Psalms 37:5-7
Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him. (NIV)
Rick found grace. He humbled himself before the Lord and asked for mercy. He got more than mercy. The Lord exalted him. Rick is fully justified before God. God gave Rick a second chance at happiness. Rick will never forget what it felt like to be without God’s favor. He is determined to remain “strong in grace.”
Rick and Sandra certainly do not have a perfect life. They face the normal trials that everyone faces. The fall of the technology industry affected them financially. They have the family and relationship issues that blended and traumatized families face. What they do have is a life together blessed by God’s favor. They remain “strong in grace.”
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