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An Unworthy Woman
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An Unworthy Woman?
By Cheryle M. Touchton
Remember the commercial that said we “bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, and never never let him forget that he is a man?” Women watched that commercial with varied reactions of inspiration and indignation. “Liberated” women screamed that we did not have to cook. Other women’s groups screamed that we did not have work outside the home. In the meantime, we women spend our days trying to balance children, romance, careers, and our waning spiritual lives. We look at the Proverbs 31 woman and often end up feeling more like an Unworthy Woman.
Have you checked out the Proverbs 31 woman lately? She could have made that commercial. Our role model in Proverbs 31 sews, plans, shops, takes care of her home, conducts profitable business transactions, manages a staff, dresses well, speaks with wisdom, and is adored by her husband and children. And if that is not enough, this “Paragon of Virtue” has a sense of humor, teaches, is in shape, is famous, and even makes her bed. She is worth more that rubies. So why is that when we miss work for that very important children’s event we turn around and wonder if we are even worthy of our paycheck?
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Proverbs 31:10 (from New International Version)
As Christian women, we are to strive to be like this woman. No wonder we are so tired! “How is this possible?” we scream. “Surely this woman did not have to deal with doctors, day care, bosses, parking, e-mail, and grocery lines.” We sigh as we read that she begins her day early and works into the night. Self-esteem plummets as we look at our growing “to-do” lists. Guiltily, we realize that we skipped our Bible Study once again. “Tomorrow will be better,” we promise ourselves before collapsing into bed.
We wake up the next morning and take heart. The scripture even admits (verse 10) that finding such a woman is rare. “After all, there aren’t all that many Worthy Women running around,” we think. “Maybe God didn’t really expect this of us.” At this point, our super-hero comic books come to mind. Possibly, this woman was the Biblical version of Wonder Woman. We fantasize that we could be like her. We could be the one “Worthy Woman” on our block. We try harder.
Maybe God knew that we needed a hero. This scripture is a standard to which all women should aspire. It is hope for what our life could be like. Our hero really is able to “do it all.” We long to know how. We want to be like her. Fortunately, we find the answers in the scriptures.
Get Help!
We see that our hero does not succeed in all of her endeavors alone. She chose well with her life mate. She has a successful, supportive, and respected husband (verses 11 and 23.) She has a staff to help her (verse 15). Maybe it really is OK to hire that housekeeper we have been dreaming of. We start planning the speech to our suspicious husbands.
No Husband Bashing!
The housekeeper speech does not go so well. “Well, if we had her husband, we could probably be worthy as well,” we think. “After all, the Worthy Woman had the perfect husband.” We then realize that the scripture is not about the husband. It is about a loving wife that always brings her husband good and not harm. It does not say, “She brings him good when he deserves it.”
This woman does not waste time blaming or complaining about her husband. While the popular sport of “husband bashing” may be fun and even possibly deserved, we must stop it anyway. It is not Biblical. We begin today doing our husband good.
No Whining!
Whining is a popular way of life for many modern women. We even dress it up with positive words, like “venting,” “expressing our feelings,” or “standing up for ourselves.” There are entire books written that justify our whining. Those books destroy happy homes.
We study our hero. She gets up early and is never idle. She begins her day taking care of her family. She goes to her work and makes a profit. She works late into the night. Through it all, she works eagerly (verse 13.) She keeps her sense of humor as she laughs at her future (verse 25.) Our hero is too dignified to waste her life whining and complaining. She does her job without whining. So can we.
No Fear!
This woman does not allow fear to control her life (verse 21.) She is fearless in her home and her business world. This chapter is one of the many scriptures where God tells us that successful business people must be willing to take risks. Our hero is willing to make decisions and act before she can guarantee outcomes. She can afford to do this because of wisdom. She considers a field and buys it. Out of her earnings, she plants a vineyard.
As tempting as spending her money may be, she starts a second business. In this business, she makes linen garments and sells them. She supplies the merchants with sashes. Our hero is a profitable entrepreneur (verse 18.) Because of her profits, she is able to be fearless in her home. As as result, her family will stay clothed and fed. Note that she also dresses well. This woman is no “self-sacrificing co-dependent victim.”
The Secret
Our hero knows the secret to life. The scripture ends by telling us that she relies on God (verse 30.) She has a healthy fear of God. As a reward, she exhibits the “Fruits of the Spirit.” And notice that they are fruits of the Spirit and not fruits of works. In fact, those very fruits of the Spirit produce her happy home and successful career.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Gal 5:22-23 (from New International Version)
We relax. Could it really be this easy? No wonder we fell so short. We were working too hard. We were trying to do this alone. We were using Proverbs 31 as a “law” and falling woefully short. We had forgotten grace and were unsuccessfully trying to live by works. We were trying to do it all and had forgotten that we could only do “all things” if we did them in Christ.
I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13 (from New International Version)
Keeping In Step
We go to our knees as we realize there is no law against the Fruits of the Spirit. We are Christians and live by the Spirit. We confess our need to “keep in step” with the Spirit.
Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Galatians 5:23-25 (from New International Version)
To “keep in step,” we turn to prayer and our Bibles. We praise God as we realize that we are already perfect and are even now being made Holy.
Because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy. Heb 10:14 (from New International Version)
We look at the model of Jesus’ life and see that He began His days with His Father. We wake up with a song in our heart as we begin our days with our Father. We discipline ourselves to have a regular quiet time in the mornings.
In that quiet time, we become still and know He is God. We pray and study our Bibles. We ask God for knowledge of His will for us and trust that He will speak. We ask Him for the power to carry out His will each day. We feel our insecurities begin to disappear. We ask for wisdom and know He will give it.
We go through our days being obedient children. We trust our instincts. We make wise and Godly decisions because we have a faithful God who answers prayer. We are willing to take risks that do not conflict with the Bible.
Occasionally, we do still make mistakes. Before retiring at night, we review our day with God. We confess our doubts and failures. We gratefully accept forgiveness and make any necessary amends the next day. We wake up and begin again.
We rejoice that we are children of grace. We begin keeping “in step with the Spirit” and become Worthy Women, one day at a time. Our children call us blessed and our husbands praise us. Our employers love us as they praise our works at the city gates. We are worthy because our Father decided we were worthy of grace. Because of grace, we stand tall and become a woman of Christ. Yes, a Worthy Woman. After all, we can do all things through Christ!
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