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Trek 2008 - Recognizing the Widows
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Trek 2008 – Recognizing the Widows
By Cheryle M. Touchton
The Pocket Full of Quarters Lady
Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. 1 Tim 5:3-5 NIV
One of the most heart breaking things I see on the road is the widows and widowers trying to survive without the help of the mate they spent the majority of their life with. Yes – I realize that death is part of life and that to be eventually alone is at least an even probability, but it still hurts me to see the lost looks as these lonely grieving people try to do the things their mates once helped them with. In many cases, these widows and widowers are really alone because their children and grandchildren live miles and sometimes countries away. Like the lost coin who didn’t chose to get lost, they didn’t chose to be alone – but alone they are and they need for people to recognize and meet their needs.
“Can you help me?” a feeble voice asked.
I was about to turn a corner in a grocery store. I saw the tiny white haired woman staring at a package of AA batteries.
“What do you need?” I asked.
“Are these the kind of batteries that go in a clock?” she asked.
“Those are AA batteries. Each battery has a size. Many clocks take AA but I had a clock that took AAA batteries. AAA batteries are smaller. You will have to look at the back of the clock to be sure. It will tell you the size. Have you changed batteries before?”
“No,” she sighed. “My husband always did it. He died last month.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said. “How long were you married?”
“Sixty five years,” she said.
“I can tell from your face that he was a good man,” I said.
“He was,” she smiled. “He was a good husband.”
“Is there anyone who can help you?” I asked.
“I have some friends that offered to come stay with me but I didn’t want them living with me. My children live all the way across the country.”
“Why don’t you take the batteries home, look on the back of the clock, and if it doesn’t say AA batteries, take the batteries back,” I suggested.
“I guess that is what I’m going to do,” she said. “Do you know where the toothpaste is?” she asked.
“No,” I said, “But we’ll find it together.”
“No,” she said. “I’ll find it. I should just go home now before I die of stupidity.”
I laughed. “You’re not stupid. You were just used to having a husband around. I’m guessing you’re pretty hard to help.”
“So people tell me,” she said wryly.
The toothpaste was just one isle over. “Thanks,” she said as I left.
After I finished shopping, I went looking for her to see if she needed help getting out. She was still standing staring at the toothpaste.
“Do you need help?” I asked.
“There are so many choices,” she said. “I got a flavor last week I didn’t like so I’m back here shopping again. I want to try new things but the flavor I bought last week was terrible. I’ve always used mint. Maybe I’ll try lemon.”
“Lemon toothpaste sounds terrible to me,” I said. “I’m all for trying new things but one of my rules is that if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it.”
“I have such a hard time making up my mind about things,” she said. “We used to decide together. You must really think I’m crazy to be still standing here.”
“No,” I said. “I know it’s hard to do things alone. It’s my job to help people. God sent me to you today. I’m a Christian and I travel around the country helping. Please let me help you.”
She reluctantly nodded. “I don’t know why I have so much trouble making up my mind. It is this way about everything.”
“One of my spiritual mentors taught me the ‘pick one’ strategy. He said that when things are really important, we know what to do. I’ll bet when your husband proposed, you knew the answer was yes,” I said.
“You’re right,” she said. “I knew what to do.”
“My mentor said we spend most of our life struggling about things that don’t really matter. He said that when you don’t know what to do, you pray about it, and pick one. I’ve been using that strategy ever since and it has worked well. Let’s practice right now. Pick a tube of toothpaste.”
“I think I’ll get mint,” she said. “I know I like that.”
“See how easy that was,” I said. “I’ll bet if you just start picking one, your life will be easier. Don’t forget the prayer part. Are you a Christian?”
“I am,” she said. “I’m Catholic.”
“When I ask that question, I’m really asking if you believe in God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus, have confessed your sins and need for Jesus, and the most important part – have invited Jesus into your life.”
“I’ve done all that,” she said.
By this time, we’d worked our way through the checkout line. “Then the ‘pick one’ strategy will work great. Can I help you to the car?”
“No,” she said. “They will help me.” I handed her a Pocket Full of Change card and left.
I don’t know how much help this lost widow needs or how willing her children and grandchildren are to help but I suspect the only person she’s ever let help her was her husband. Maybe God left her here so she would learn to ask for help. Most Widows and widowers are lost after they lose a beloved spouse. Sometimes they're lost for a short while and but some stay lost for the rest of their life. The Bible says to give proper recognition to widows. I pray that I don’t ever get too busy to notice the widows and widowers around me.
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Cheryle M. Touchton is the Director of Pocket Full of Change Ministries. For more information or to schedule a speaker for an event, go to www.pocketfullofchange.org or call Gail Golden at 904 316-5462.
This ministry exists because people like you are called to help fund the work of the kingdom. To help keep the Pocket Full of Quarters Lady on the road as a traveling missionary, send your tax deductible contribution to Pocket Full of Change Ministries, POB 51205, Jacksonville Beach, Florida 32240.
© Pocket Full of Change Ministries
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